Three years

(NOTE: Yeah, yeah, been a while. I'll cover what happened since April 2012 in the next post.)

Three years ago today, I went on my first date with Roxanne. We drove down Highway 1, had a beach picnic at a lighthouse, rode roller coasters at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk, and cuddled under the stars. Lovely day, lovely lady.

Two years ago today, we celebrated our first anniversary. Dinner by the water in Half Moon Bay, small gifts exchanged, hours of passion.

One year ago today, we drove down to Monterey to spend our second anniversary wandering the aquarium, getting great Mediterranean food at this café in Carmel, and getting me through an infected bug bite that threatened to ruin the whole thing.

Today we were supposed to cuddle in a hammock, scarf down obscene amounts of sushi and sashimi, and pack for a 2-day trip to Vegas to celebrate our third anniversary with Cirque du Soleil tickets. Instead I'm home alone, writing this and thinking of what could have been because, as unbelievable as it sounds to those who saw us together since that August day, we broke up last month.


It was an amicable and mutual decision, and it came because life was just pulling us apart. We were becoming increasingly emotionally distant, and the strain killed our passion—we kept pushing back dates, sending the daily "good morning gorgeous" texts felt like a chore rather than a sweet gesture, and it slowly dawned on us that we were putting more into our relationship than we were getting out of it. No animosity, no infidelity, nothing to spawn resentment of any stripe, but simply the realization that things weren't working and we were hurting each other by being stubborn and going down with the ship. And so, after a night of honest conversation, we called it a day after 2 years and 11 months.
Obviously it's been tough being suddenly solo after so long, but my initial numbness has given way to relief. I've been looking back fondly on our time together, and though we may no longer be lovers, I'm confident that we can continue on as friends.

And Rox, if you're reading this…I don't hate you, not at all, you never have to ask again. And how could I hate you? You've given me some of the best years of my still young life. You were the biggest push to get me down to Northridge. You are one of the best things to ever happen to me, and you made me happy beyond my wildest dreams. No matter what happens from here on out, I love you. Thank you for being so good to me, even when I thought I didn't deserve it.